It’s Okay to Have a Nothing Day

It’s 12:00 am.

I’ve been on the computer all morning just doing pretty much NOTHING.

Reading blogs, watching TV, checking and re-checking emails a million times.  And then checking them again and finding nothing (why doesn’t anybody like me???!?!?!?!?! wahahaha!!!!!!!….*sniff*)

I’m still in my pajamas.

I haven’t even taken a shower yet.

The only exciting thing I did all morning was make breakfast.

I’ve pretty much just been sitting on my butt on morning.

I used to hate days like these.  The mere thought of lounging around in my pajamas for most of the morning would send me into such a fit of anxiety that I couldn’t even allow myself to sit down for more than an hour at a time.  My morning routine used to be as follows:

1.  wake up.

2.  immediately jump in the shower and spend an hour getting ready.

3.  meander downstairs.

4.  eat a leisurely breakfast at the table.

5.  wait like 10 minutes for my food to digest.

6.  Strap on my sneakers and go for a walk around the neighborhood.

My eating disorder was so powerful during this time, that I wouldn’t let myself rest for even just a few hours because I was so afraid that my “inactivity” would cause me to gain weight.  This went on for about a year and I found that even in the coldest months, I was STILL pushing myself to get out the door and go for a damn walk in the freezing cold.

Even in February.

I distinctly remember one time that I was furiously banging my feet on the cold ground every couple of steps because they had started to go numb due to the biting, frigid cold.  I had to actually stop in King Soopers and thaw out on the way back because my feet were screaming in pain.  By the time I got back home I could barely feel my toes and collapsed on the couch in exhaustion.

All of this because I HAD TO EXERCISE.

EVERY DAY.

Did I mention that my eating disorder is a bitch?  No?  Well it is.

My point is that I used to be so obsessed with exercise that it consumed every moment of my every day.  I didn’t get a chance to enjoy a lazy morning because the very next thing I had to do was exercise.  In fact, I had to hit rock bottom before I could even begin to start recovering and letting go of exercise.

Now I have learned that it’s okay to spend some time lounging around in the morning sitting on your butt and just doing nothing.  I don’t even worry about going out for a walk in the morning any more.  I like to preserve my morning and lie around being, well, just being lazy.  But that’s okay.  I get up extra early every other day to work my butt off at my job so I think I am more than entitled to a few hours of relaxation.  Eventually I will get up, heave myself into the shower and get ready but right now?  I’m choosing to just stay right here.  My body needs the rest.  I need the rest.  It’s good for me.

So, it’s 12:00 am.

I’m still in my pajamas.

And I don’t care 🙂

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6 thoughts on “It’s Okay to Have a Nothing Day

    • Definitely! Especially when we are super tired and haven’t gotten enough sleep and when we are worn down. Sometimes it can do more harm than good if we constantly push ourselves to keep going. Hope you feel better!

  1. Hey girl! I just found your blog and I’m really loving your entries.
    Just wanted to give you props on your recovery and making it so far. I love days like this as well. I’m a total library nerd and a journalism major so I can definitely relate.
    Good job at treating yourself with care! 🙂

    • Thanks so much for the support!! It has been such a long and hard road but I’m glad that I am finally in a better place. I hope that some of what I have to say can help you if you have any struggles. I love books too!! I go through them like water and sometimes I double-fist! lol!!

  2. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a nothing day! I enjoy them quite frequently, especially now that it’s summer. Our bodies ned time to rest so that they can bounce back even stronger the next day. Good job for allowing yourself to embrace PJ days 😀

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